The Choice to Defer

I was scheduled to compete in the Escape The Cape International distance triathlon this weekend. It was going to be my triumphant return after recovering from my ankle tear that I exacerbated by training on for a year before stopping. I was going to jump off a ferry boat into the water and have the best tri ever. 

Then my priorities changed. My dad got sick. Work was piling on. My ankle pain returned ever so slightly.  My heart wasn’t into my training. And then we decided to move from NJ to NC to be closer to my family. 

Financially and emotionally it didn’t make sense. I didn’t want to defer. I struggled with it for weeks. I felt like it would make me a quitter. I would lose the grit I had built for the past 6 years. I was admitting that I let life get the best of me and I couldn’t handle it all. After many conversations, I realized it’s ok. You can walk away from races and training to get your head straight. Why force yourself to do something so consuming of your time, money, physical and emotional health to fulfil some imaginary obligation to myself? Choosing to defer was the absolute best decision I could make and I’m happy I did it. BUT YOU BETTER BELIEVE I will be back to jump off that ferry next year. Can’t. Wait. 

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